Episode133 – Seifenoper Hawaii ’19

Es ist geschafft. Der Ironman Hawaii ist vorüber und er hat gehalten was er im Vorfeld versprochen hat. Wir schauen uns die beiden Top Plazierten, aber auch die nicht ganz so erfolgreichen Athleten an. Außerdem sprechen wir über die turbulenten Ereignisse, die sich auf den sozialen Medien nach dem Rennen abgespielt haben. Weitere Themen sind der neue halbe Ironman in Deutschland und das Projekt Breaking Sub 2. Wir wünschen viel Spass.

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#imwc race report Swim. Good start but bunched up behind. I speculate who’s there; probably not Wurf. Going as planned. Stroke stroke stroke breathe. Rough calculations pin 900x more repetition. 900 forms of distraction required. Finally, Body Glove boat. Can smell bacon cook up. Firm distraction found. Kona pier arrives. No attempted manoeuvres made for lead out glory, no one gets hurt. Win/win. 1st onto bike. Jig around town done, onto QK. I tongue my moustache. Frodo requests assistance. Lol cancel that boy. Clavel takes lead. Clavel supertucks. Clavel supertuck pedals. Clavel superwhatthefuck. You’re going to die mate. Lead group thinning. Kawaihae, Kawaibye. Up to Hawi we go. Off the back of the group. Pace hotter than Bob Babbitt’s chair during a 6 hour breakfast sit at Huggo’s. Ali flats. Unexpected company. Ali passes with somicboom effect. Ali gone. Never liked his company anyway, toodleloo. Catch a fast fading Clavel. Finally someone with more inflated confidence than me. Wurf pain train catching. Pain train becomes slain train. Spat out. I tongue my moustache, overhang definitely on the move. Christ Ironman is long. Run. Off to a good start, still some life left. On 2:50 pace. Palani minces legs to salami. Pace slowing on QK. Stomach in knots. Need to crap. To stop? Yeah, keep it clean. Last time was nasty. Almost lost race belt down dark well of pestilence & malodor. Breaking 3 becomes breaking 2+2=4. Any longer & they will be bringing me glowsticks. Contemplate SAG home. Guts in severe pain. Evaluated chances of finishing equal to Patrick Lange. Spotted a sedentary Patrik Nilsson. Invitation to run declined on account of withdrawal. Disgusted, a pledge to finish was made. Post-after party is where real suffering begins. This is nothing. Self-talk positivity reverberates with generic American accent ‘YOU GOT THIS!’ Sticky hot asphalt making funny noises on my shoes. I’m sure that’s where I pissed myself on the way out. Finish line here. Get shoed away before Haug crosses, a single shred of dignity remaining. Could be worse. Last time I finished with shit in my suit. This I’m time finishing as just a metaphorical shit. Mahalo 🌸 📷 @koruptvision

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